God’s calling me to be what I never thought I’d be
I get confirmation after confirmation, so I have to write this down. You better have a Bible ready too.
I start praying about going to Haiti and five minutes later (not even exaggerating): Galatians 2:2
I start feeling worried because I’m the youngest in the group and I won’t be able to do as much as everyone else (I’m a wimp, I suck at languages, I have a skin condition in my hands, I’m a girl, I’m tiny, I have the worst stomach ever, etc): Jeremiah 1:6-8, Jeremiah 1:17.
I started doubting: Jeremiah 10:17
I got scared: Jeremiah 31:10, Jeremiah 46:7
God started speaking to me to go to Slovenia in February. This one is pretty interesting because He gave me so may verses AND Bible teachings, and I wasn’t getting it (on purpose and ignorantly), it got to the point where I was in a Bible teaching and I got so many confirmations that I was seriously about to scream, “I get it!” in the middle of service: Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 1:38, 2 Corinthians 5:20.
I’m complaining because God is changing my plans and I don’t want to be a missionary and, yeah….: 1 Timothy 2:7 (and like, twenty Bible teachings)
I kept saying that I didn’t have a heart for this and couldn’t do this: Ephesians 3:7-9, Ephesians 6:19-20, Romans 9:12, Romans 10:14-15, Romans 11:29, Romans 15:16. (Also, I get “God isn’t looking for ability, He’s looking for availability”)
And then (this is the most recent & my favorite), all I’m left with is that I don’t have the desire or what it takes to do this, and that I’m not going to do a good job at this, and that I don’t want this, and the keyword here is desire, and I get this: Philippians 2:13
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.
This was this morning (er, 3am) and I did tear up. I am left with no excuses, no arguments, nothing, but God is in control, and He can do with me what He pleases. He’s the mastermind here. So, where He calls me to, I’ll go.